What's in a name? A penis by any other name is…

Have you ever seen the walking Egyptian with a hard-on? His name is Min and he's the Egyptian god of fertility. He plays a big part in my erotic time travel novel, Naughty Paris, with his…there's that word again. How do you say it in French?

Here are some interesting phrases describing a man's penis from a dictionary of French slang printed in 1896: L'arme (bayonet), le cheval (horseman), la charrue (plough-share), l'éculse (the bald headed hermit), le goujon (the shove-straight), and la saucisse, (the live sausage). Not a banana in sight…

The French, being the gourmands they are, also included interesting phrases when discussing testes, calling them les prunes, and semen, la sauce d'amour.

Hmm…we erotica writers don't have the same colorful menu in English. Expressing the male penis in erotic fiction has gone from using elaborate euphemisms such as his "lance" to his "manhood" to his…well, you know the word. Most agree c**k came from the rooster with his proud strut.

Speaking of which, what do women really think about a man's penis? Whether you're writing erotic fiction or just curious (aren't we all?), it's more than wondering if size matters. According to experts, women are more interested in what a man can do with it, while men often look at an erect penis as a status symbol, like a beemer or 42" plasma TV.

Most women admit it isn't the size of his penis that turns them on, but whether or not a man takes his time arousing her as well as his endurance. No doubt women talk about it, write about it, and enjoy checking out the bulge in a guy's jeans, no matter what you call it.

So the next time you're at a loss to describe the male genitalia in your novel, remember it's the man attached to it that matters most to the reader.

Mark Twain, who wrote the erotic story, 1601 (the diary of one of Queen Elizabeth's servants) said it best: "The penis mightier than the sword."

I agree. How 'bout you?